What you wanted…

How many times have you been sooo frustrated because you wanted something but it’s just so hard to get and you don’t know where and how to start just to have it?

I’m not really talking about material things. I’m talking about how you make yourself better, successful and contented .
Are you happy with your job? If you are, then I give you my heartfelt congratulations! If you’re not, then when will you ever move your ass and have the courage to look for a new job which you will love not just the salary but the things that you do everyday as well?

Me? I’m in between. Every time I go to work and get stuck in a traffic while the sun seems sooo angry, the thought of looking for a new job where I don’t have to commute and get stuck for hours in a jam would just pop up.

However, thinking that I have to start all over again, from interviews and waiting for regularization(if lucky enough to be hired on the spot), I get possessed with laziness.

Aaaand, some of us just can’t leave our current job right away for personal reasons.

So yes, I admit. I’m so lazy because I always have reasons why I WOULDN’T, why I COULDN’T and why I CAN’T just go wherever and do whatever my heart wanted to do. But oh, is it really laziness or cowardice? It could be both.

Since some of us, most of us don’t really have enough savings, it creeps me out to think that I would run out of money and still jobless!

So there, another reason why some of us wouldn’t dare to leave our current job. A very lame excuse for some people.

I wanted something but too afraid to gamble and too afraid to suffer the consequences.

I know, I know…You wanted to say I’m crazy! LOL!

Anyway, how about you? Are you living out your dreams? Is your current job what you’ve dreamed of? Have your childhood dreams come true? Did you get what you wanted?

When I was young, I had lots of dreams and way back then, it seemed so easy to reach. I was dying to have it all. One of those childhood dreams was to go abroad(Who doesn’t?). Seeing beautiful pictures of European countries triggered my fantasy which I wanted to live in.

I made a scrapbook graced with colorful beads and pretty sequins. It was full of pictures and postcards. Photos I cut out from chocolate wrappers given to us by our generous neighbor whenever he came to visit our hometown. Those were wrappers of Swiss chocolate with pretty pictures of villages and landmarks in Switzerland.

I remembered when our neighbor’s sister went to Austria to work and she sent us a beautiful picture with her in it. It was taken in winter and the snow was knee-deep. It was so beautiful I wanted to cry whenever I looked at it. Looking at the picture with pearly white snow gave me joy. I live in a tropical country so forgive me if seeing pictures with snow amazed me back then. She was wearing a knee-high winter boots with a row of townhouses in the background. There was nothing special with the picture but my young heart fell in love with it or should I say, fell in love with the snow?(Hmmm, whatever). I always looked at the photo before going to bed and looked at it again in the morning. Imagine how obsessed I was with that photo! Haha. I would imagine that it was me standing in front of those amazing townhouses in a fancy winter coat.

I dreamed that someday, I will be able to go there. That I would be able to send postcards and presents to my parents and relatives. That someday, I would be the one to give chocolate with exquisite wrappers.

I wanted to be a nurse. I thought it was the magic key that would take me there. Oohoo boy, that didn’t happen.  I changed my mind and took up another course then end up here. I realized it wasn’t my cup of tea…I wonder if I would be able to go where I wanted if I proceeded taking up BSN. But then, it doesn’t really matter.  We SURELY can go anywhere we want to if we only have perseverance and of course, wads of money regardless of our profession.

So that’s it. That was what I wanted years ago.

I hope all of us would have the privilege to say “Finally!” instead of being stuck with “Someday…”

Note: I know some bloggers used a disclaimer whenever they grab a photo from Google and I did the same. I made sure to put a disclaimer and I added a link below the image but I have read from a blog that it doesn’t matter if you put a disclaimer. It will be a heck of a problem if one receives a complaint from the owner of the photo.

For copyrights’ sake, I took down the picture because it’s better to be cautious. You know, just to be safe.

😛